Maria's New Pad

You know, I wasn't even sure I still had this journal.

Go figure.

Anywho, so as I was saying over in my other journal, I'm in a really pissy mood. Not only one county employee is pissing me off but now two!

And I just started to write this cuz I wanted to.

It's nasty so beware. And my black humor is still in it but it might be overshadowed by the nasty.

But who fucking cares, right?! I mean, isn't it what we've all been waiting for?

Am I right or am I right?

Title: Ma, Can I keep him?
Chapter: 17/?
Pairing: B/J, implied E/J; also possibly, inter-species pairing (Hey, we're still not sure of Mikey's parentage)
Rating: R
Warnings: It is afterall a cannibal fic. Nothing squicky, just allusions to things that might make people uncomfortable. The word 'eviscerate' is used quite a bit.
Super Warning: Minor Character Death this chapter. Oh yes, there will be blood...

Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys and according to fucking King County, I shouldn't own my stupid shed. *grumble grumble*



Summary: This is crack!fic. It is a cannibal crack!fic. It is tongue-in-cheek black humor. This is the warning within the summary. Debbie is the Sweeney Todd type living in some backwater town (not too far from Pittsburgh) with her mentally disturbed son, Mikey (yes, I stuck to canon) and adopted son, Brian. Justin and Ethan are passing through.



Previous chapters can be found in my memories, here. If you have trouble accessing them there, just use the memories found on my user info page.




( Chapter 17 - wherein Chris Hobbs comes to dinner )

Things have been a bit crazy PLUS I have started to write in another fandom (but I'm not posting those stories here at IJ).

However, I do want to finish any Qaf series I have out there and I will.

Because my sister-in-law wanted to watch QaF when she visited, I watched part of the first season with her and my spark in Brian and Justin was rekindled. Yay! (I just wish she would return S1 and 2 to me so I can continue watching...*grumble grumble*).

Be that as it may, I want to start posting some of my original fiction to my lj. However, this fiction is a bit dark and involves real issues. They're also based on people I know and things that happened to them - myself included.

Sort of a 'these invents are true - only the names have been changed to protect the innocent' kind of thing.

I just have this need to post them (and get rid of them).

Anywho, because of the nature of this fic, I plan on putting them on a filter so if you want to read them, please comment below and I'll add you to the filter (if you have already been friended by me, you will still need to comment below to be added to the filter).

Only people who comment below will be added to the filter.

It's that simple.

All of my fanfiction (Queer as Folk and Lord of the Rings RPS) is and will always be unlocked.

Hi everyone!

Remember the cannibal!verse?

Well, here's a Christmas present for everyone who loves the tale of our favorite cannibals!

There's two parts. I have the second one written and I'll post that tomorrow!

So here you go!

Enjoy!



Title: Cannibal Christmas Interlude
Part 1 of 2 parts (2nd part tomorrow - it's already written)
Pairing: B/J
Warnings: It's the cannibal!verse. Come on!!!!
Summary: This takes place right after chapter 16 of the ongoing saga of our favorite cannibals. It's Christmas!!!! (I know it's still summer in the story - just read and you'll see).

Disclaimer: The Qaf gang are really cannibals, Justin really is that clueless and Dan and Ron were really eaten...so I can write whatever I want about these people!

Okay, so none of the above is true.


( Part 1 - Wherein we learn the true meaning of Christmas )

I love feedback like the gang loves their red meat!!!!

(And Justin loves Brian's yule log).

The start of December kicked off to a great start!

14 inches of snow!!!!

Seriously...14 inches! :)

So before I could get the kids into warm wear, they were outside playing in it. I finally got them into warm coats, waterproof gloves, hats and thermal underwear. Then they got out the sleds and tubes and voila!

They were out for a long time today going down the hill in our backyard. They also made an igloo and tried to get the kitty involved.

( pics of snow, sleds, kids and the kitty )

Another wonderful start to my holidays were some icons by the talented and generous qafmaniac who made me some QaF cannibal icons.

*points to my icon*

That's the Ranger Ben one. I have 3 more on my icon journal. They all say "Merry Christmas from Hell."

Thank you qafmaniac again!!!! *blows kisses*

Lastly, I was surfing youtube again and I came upon this somehow:

Invalid video URL.

This would be Orlando Bloom's guest starring role on Midsomer Murders (a role he played in one episode before he went on to make Lord of the Rings). Someone put together all his scenes from the episode Judgement Day.

He's so cute!!!!

(I thought it was cute...)

IMPORTANT MESSAGE REGARDING CHRISTMAS CARD LIST

I'm pretty sure at this point that my livejournal email account is not working. Either that or nobody likes me...*sob*

I think it's the email. firehead30 suggested I get a gmail account cuz she was having problems with the livejournal email too.

So, if you would like a Christmas card from me, email me at :

dementedqueen@gmail.com

with your address (don't forget your lj name so I know who you are!).

I will send you back a confirmation email once I get it.

If you sent me one on the livejournal email, send it to the gmail one.

So I bought some shoes. This is a big deal for me because I only wear three pairs a year. A pair of flip flops, my Timberlands and my Uggs.

They're called Keens and they're so comfortable.

So I bought 2 pairs.

See:

( picture of Maria's new shoes )

Also, it appears that some monster ate some Christmas decorations and then threw up all over the lobby of my restaurant.

Okay, that was a visual you probably didn't need and a simple, 'whoa! I think they overdid it on the Christmas decor at the shop,' but what can I say.

I have a way with words. :)

Here are some pics of our lobby:

( pics of our lobby )

See what I mean?

Looks nice though. We do this every year but there seems to be an increase this year. (The mural was always there).

NOW, we have to set up the Christmas lights up outside. If the lobby is any indication this year, we should be the brightest dot in Snoqualmie Valley. :)

Deck the halls...la la la la...

Okay, yeah. I've decided that I'm in the Christmas mood this year (well, I usually am every year but this time it's come earlier for me).

I'd like to send Christmas cards out to people on my flist who would like to receive one from me.

I tried a test post where I screened comments but I don't like that idea so let's just do this:

Go ahead and send me your address (don't forget to include your lj name) to this email address:

slave_o_spike@livejournal.com

I'll send you a confirmation that I got it. If you don't get a confirm in 2 days since the time you sent it, comment to me on my journal.

Well I'm glad people are having a fun time with the Which QaF Cannibal Character are you? quiz.

There are a surprising number of Ranger Bens out there. *lifts eyebrow suspiciously*

Anywho, I remember I said that Beowulf was a horrid movie and to NOT NOT NOT see it.

Well, I have been wanting to post a rec for a movie that you SHOULD GO SEE for a while now but keep getting distracted!!!!

It's called Lars and the Real Girl.

Yes, it's the movie where the guy 'dates' a sex doll.

Here's a preview courtesy of youtube:


Lars and the Real Girl because IJ won't let me post the actual trailer





Why should you see it? Am I really that insane that I would rec a movie about a guy with a sex doll?

Well, yes, I am insane but that's beside the point.

This movie is perfect. Ryan Gosling is perfect is as the flawed yet sweet hero. You just want to take the man home and take care of him.

And another perfect performance is by Paul Schneider as his brother Gus. This man has to show a range of emotions and he does so perfectly.

Half the time I was laughing during the movie.

The other half I was silently crying.

I absolutely ADORE this movie and I think you will too.

So I joined Mozilla and I made a quiz.

It's called Which QaF Cannibal Character are you? and it can be taken here.

After you take the quiz, make sure you check out all the results. :)

Have fun!!!!

Oh, this is me. :)

I just wanted to pop in to say Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Graphics provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Title: The Hitcher
Chapter: Chapter 4
Pairing: Brian/Justin; some mild, not really there Justin/Ethan - in fact, they don't have sex...at all.
Genre: Badfic/Horror/Suspense
Rating: S for stupid
Summary: You've seen the movie. Come on. You haven't? Okay. Justin picks up more than he can handle (and I don't mean a raging case of herpes) when he picks up a hitchhiker. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: This is all made up. I don't own Cowlip or the boys. And I don't know anyone who owns the Chevy. :)




Look at the banner my daughter Alex made for me!!!


Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3




( Chapter 4 )

You know how I like my feedback. :)

So, today was Rowan's parent/teacher conference. This was the one I was worried about.

After talking to the teachers, everything's cool and apparently she's doing great. I help her with her homework so I know what she's capable of, but I wasn't sure if they were going to say that she should be held back.

I can breathe easier on this point now. I've been wondering if she was going to be able to keep up all this time.

I won't go into detail, just suffice it to say, I'm happy. :)

I then came home to find Rowan and Donovan had found the 'cockfetti' that had come with my QaF goodies.

Rowan was applying the confetti to Donovan's cheeks and her own. When I found them, she said, "look! We're pretty!" Then she asked where I got the hearts.

*breathes in deeply*

So here's the next installment of my badfic experiment. Are people still reading this BTW?

Title: The Hitcher
Chapter: Chapter 3
Pairing: Brian/Justin; some mild, not really there Justin/Ethan - in fact, they don't have sex...at all.
Genre: Badfic/Horror/Suspense
Rating: S for stupid
Summary: You've seen the movie. Come on. You haven't? Okay. Justin picks up more than he can handle (and I don't mean a raging case of herpes) when he picks up a hitchhiker. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: It's all true and yes, I am Spartacus!!!!

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2



( Chapter 3 )

So here you go. The Real Chapter 2. That one I posted two days ago was chapter 1.

So I went to Griffon's parent/teacher conference. Two down and one to go. Rowan's is tomorrow. Should be fun. :)

Also, if you go to see a movie, I highly suggest you do NOT go to see Beowulf. It's just that bad.

Yes, it's that bad. Ugh!

You wanna see a goof Beowulf? Rent the 2005 Beowulf and Grendel with Gerard Butler. That's a good one.


Title: The Hitcher
Chapter: Chapter 2
Pairing: Brian/Justin; some mild, not really there Justin/Ethan - in fact, they don't have sex...at all.
Genre: Badfic/Horror/Suspense
Rating: S for stupid
Summary: You've seen the movie. Come on. You haven't? Okay. Justin picks up more than he can handle (and I don't mean a raging case of herpes) when he picks up a hitchhiker. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: This is so not true. I've seen the hot sauce around though.

Prologue
Chapter 1


( The Real Chapter 2 )

So two things.

First off, if you're reading The Hitcher, you'll notice that I wrote a prologue and then skipped right over chapter 1 and into chapter 2.

My bad.

So (thank you flamencanyc for catching that) I corrected that. I wrote the Prologue, which I posted before all my laptop woes, and then I posted chapter 1 just 2 days ago, which I mistakenly labeled as 'chapter 2.' I have corrected that. It now reads 'chapter 1' and chapter 2 should be posted later tonight, after another parent-teacher conference. I just love November! I went to Megan's on Friday and tonight's is Griffon's. Rowan's is tomorrow.

Now, to the second and Most Important part of this post. I received something in the mail today. It was in a special USPS envelope which basically said 'We're sorry but the USPS screwed up somehow and this came to you late and not in its original packaging.' I guess the envelope was damaged or something.

Anywho, I opened the envelope and saw:

One Queer as Folk mouse pad
One Queer as Folk picture book
And a card that when I opened it, spilled interesting confetti on me and my Audi seat.

Griffon looked over at it when I opened it. He asked if the confetti were arrows with hearts.

I said, 'uh yeah.'

Then he looked more closely at it and laughed. 'Those aren't arrows! Those are little penises!'

When you're right you're right.

LMAO!!!!!

So I'm just here to say THANK YOU THANK YOU for my goodies (my prize for the scavenger hunt) to happier_bunny, shadownyc, rebeccama, callie89 and ohfreckle.

That was very sweet.

So, as I have said, I will be posting later tonight. Also, I'm working on writing a sequel to a certain story of mine that I think people will be happy with. :)

Hey remember that bad fic experiment I was trying? Where I would write for just one half hour a day and post it no matter what? And then I had the whole 'oh fuck - my laptop is going bye-bye and now I'm waiting for my new one in the mail.' Well, now that I have the laptop (which I adore), I'm continuing with it.

So here's the next chapter. This does not mean that I have abandoned Justin's Baby. I am working on that now that I can.

Also, my entry for the Justin!Love challenge was posted today over at qaf_challenges on insane journal. I can't give you the link to my story as the stories are still anon, but I will post it on my journal in about 5 days when the writers are revealed. But if you're looking for stuff to read, go here.

So it appears mine is doing pretty well so that's cool.

Title: The Hitcher
Chapter: Chapter 1
Pairing: Brian/Justin; some mild, not really there Justin/Ethan - in fact, they don't have sex...at all.
Genre: Badfic/Horror/Suspense
Rating: S for stupid
Summary: You've seen the movie. Come on. You haven't? Okay. Justin picks up more than he can handle (and I don't mean a raging case of herpes) when he picks up a hitchhiker. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: This is so not true. I mean, seriously, Justin as a gear head?






( Chapter 1 of this crazy thing )

Feedback would be cool - like a Chevy Chevelle Supersport

So I finally christened my new powerbook by writing my Justin love challenge entry.

I sooooo love my new laptop. *eyes Powerbook fondly*

Now I have no excuse for writing. So I will get back to it here.

Here are some pics of the kitty when we first got him.

( Pics of Kreature )

So starting tomorrow, I will continue with my badfic writing experiment, get another chapter out of Justin's Baby (not tomorrow but this week) and various other things.

I will leave on this thought though - It is so nice to be mobile yet again.

Love and kisses!!!!

First off, I just wanted to say that you can start posting the answers to the discussion about Halloween over at my community the_other_slash now.

But more importantly, I just wanted to stop in and talk about what a great time I had with firehead30, xie_xie_xie and a new friend, cabbers on Sunday!

We walked around Seattle, talked about QaF, blind-folded escort Justin and life. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while.

(Okay, well when hubby asked about the penis extension thing and if it was feasible...)

I just got my Powerbook! Woo hoo! I can now start writing again in peace!!!!

*does the Justin snoopy dance*

Only problem is I have my sister-in-law and one o her evil spawn visiting this weekend and I was just informed she's in Tacoma right now so she should be here in an hour so I must make this short.

I love you all!

*blows kisses to everyone*

So...

*blushes*

This extra loooong post is actually 3 posts smushed together. I just found my password again for my insane journal account.

*sigh*

Anywho, my oldest daughter, Alex, went to her first Homecoming dance two Saturday nights ago (not the one that just passed, but the one BEFORE - see? I'm so behind here).

Here she is in all her glory...

( pic of Alex and Shane )

Also, we got a new kitty! ( the tale of the gray kitty )

Oh yeah! I'm not sure if people have been following the debate on fb on the bjfic yahoo site but I think that both sides have valid points. (Of course, I haven't really read any bj fic lately so I'm not sure what the problem was).

( My thoughts on an experiment I've been thinking about )

So here is my first entry in my bad fic experiment (I posted this a few days ago on lj - I wrote this when I still had my laptop - you can read more on my laptop woes further down the page).

I'm not posting this anywhere but HERE BTW (and lj). Not on bjfic.net, not on MW, nor on any of the comms.

I was watching the new Hitcher movie a few nights ago, the one with Sean Bean. So here you go.

And as usual, this is nothing like the movie. :)

Title: The Hitcher
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Genre: Badfic/Horror/Suspense
Rating: S for stupid
Summary: You've seen the movie. Come on. You haven't? Okay. Justin picks up more than he can handle (and I don't mean a raging case of herpes) when he picks up a hitchhiker. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: All this is true. Oh look! Elvis!



( Prologue - are you sure you want to read? )

So I did a spell-check and a quick beta cuz I still couldn't leave it as is. However, this took about half an hour to write so I'm on task. :)

You can leave me fb, but please be honest. But be gentle...cuz I'm fragile...

But be honest.

But gentle...

This is the latest news!!! Look!!!! I want to show you guys something that the wonderful and talented qafmaniac made for me!!!!

I gave her a plot bunny and some ideas.

See video here

*smooches Marita madly*

Thank you hon!!!!

Also, I'm writing this from my son's imac because I took my laptop in 2 days ago for the final service. I got the call today that it was more serious though than just the disk drive and the touch pad.

So hubby went onto ebay today and got me a totally awesome Powerbook!!!!!

But it won't be here for another few days. I tried doing my writing experiment on Griffon's imac but it's so hard. It's in a really public place in the house.

So it looks like my computer woes will be over shortly, but I'm impatient!!!

Hope everyone had a great Halloween! I sure did!

And speaking of Halloween,

The questions are up at my community the_other_slash. So even if you're not a member and you've watched the movie, come join in!!!!

Hi all!

Yes, I am still here! My laptop has been fixed...sort of and I still have to use a mouse because the touch pad is toast. Still, I'm mobile again. For the time being. I need to take it to the Apple store to get it fixed completely.

BTW, when I say the laptop is 'fixed,' I mean we had to get a new keypad installed. When hubby called around, he was told to put the keypad into the oven at really really low temps and keep it in there to dry out.

So he did and then he put it back in and it was still toast. So he put it back in the oven and I said 'This is stupid. Get a new keypad or get me a new laptop.' So he ordered a new keypad and forgot that the old one was in the oven until...

Alex decided to make brownies and didn't check the oven. This is what a keypad looks like when it's been cooked:

( My keypad on 'preheat' )

There are other things going on (mainly the kids and the shop) that I don't want to get into right now but it'll all be okay.

I've also requested to have some time just for me so I can write and communicate with everyone on lj (or ij or gj). I think I made my point clear.

Yeah...right.

I'll be spending time tonight responding back to my fb (I'm so behind...:P)

One quick thing before I go...

Under the cut is a piccie of Donovan in Griffon's Halloween costume.

( Pic of Donovan - the toddler with a name )

I wish I could do the whole sepia tone thing and put a faux WANTED border around it. LOL!

I'll talk to you all soon.

Love and smooches!!!

Hi there everyone!

I am not ignoring anybody! I promise. The kids decided to sabotage my laptop by accidentally pouring grapefruit soda onto it.

Well, okay, maybe not onto it, but near it which crept into it via the tablecloth. To make a long story short, I lost the use of my keypad and the mouse.

I've been using the iMac which we got for Griffon. But it's really fucking hard to write or create anything when you've got everyone coming up behind me. I'm sort of stuck in one spot here.

I discovered many fascinating things on youtube though while I've been here. Did you know they post whole movies on there? I'm in old horror movie heaven! I've watched Prom Night, Slaughter High (which still sucks and is the latest one made in 1987), House on Sorority Row and The Dorm That Dripped Blood. I love 'old' (old as in movies made in the 70's and early 80's) horror/slasher movies, when 'slash' meant the ole hack and well...slash. Did you know that they remade the wonderful 70's horror classic Black Christmas in 2006. They posted that one (the 2006) in its entirety. Don't bother with that one. The original (with Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder) was much, much better. This was just a gory re-hash.

Also, we bought Deathproof, the second movie that was shown on the Grindhouse movie back in May. There was a trailer on it for a movie called Black Sheep, a horror movie and no, it wasn't a faux trailer - it's a real movie.

A horror movie.

About killer sheep.

No shit.

I found a trailer of the movie on youtube. You just have to see it.

( Black Sheep trailer behind cut )

Also, I bought Donovan's Halloween costume. I couldn't resist and the kid's crazy about everything Star Wars.

( Pictures of Donovan in his Jedi costume )

I've been running around for the past week going everywhere and trying to post, answering feedback and such and no one is cooperating with me.

Stupid busy RL. *pouts*

I had to grab the folding ladder from the shop tonight and bring Brandin home with me (one of our employees and my daughter's ex.) I know I've been watching too many horror films and clips when I looked at the ladder behind me in the Expedition:

Me: God, with that thing right behind me, I hope we don't have one of those accidents ala Final Destination.
Brandin: Ewwww...well we shouldn't.
Me: Don't be so sure. Probability is now high since one of the passengers in the car is a cute young male.

Yeah, Brandin certainly falls into the category of 'most likely to meet a horrible end' per the horror movie credo.

But we made it back in one piece.

I'm going to be writing hopefully (*crosses fingers*) tonight. I'm borrowing one of the girl's old laptops and taking it with me during one of my many errands.

Hope everything's good with everyone else.

Love you all, Maria.

I have this totally great idea for a Justin/Brian vid but I do not have the know how or the capability to make it!

*pulls out hair*

I talked to my daughter and she doesn't have the ability to do it either.

I think it would be PERFECT!

(Okay, well not perfect, but work with me here...)

Anywho, would someone who has this capability, like to work with me on it?

Pretty pretty please?